#((spoiler alert i didnt actually finish))

[uwooyoungs]

//

[bippiti]

of rubies and garnet

where overhearing something you shouldn't have has interesting side effects

wc 1.4k

pairing gen narumi x afab vc reader

heads up smut, cunnilingus, kinda angst but not too crazy, kn8 typical gore and violence

an first kn8 req! tried using actual capitalization (dk how to feel ab it) lmk how yall like it and as always likes and rbs are appreciated <3

“Well it’s not like she's gonna be my girlfriend for much longer”

It took 12 words to have your whole world crashing down

Was it something you had done?

Did he hate you?

Why?

Why now?

Why would he do this? 

You took two steps back, turning around and running, hoping the speed would stop the tears streaming down your face

Spoiler Alert: It didn’t. After getting into an empty room and locking yourself in, you slid down the door, sobs racking your body. 

How did it end up this way?

You thought back to when you both first met, the day you started the second phase of training. Having worked part time to clean up kaiju, you had become familiar with the process, and began quickly. You were the quickest to finish, offering help to others but most being too egotistical to accept it. Gen was different though, he accepted it gratefully, observing you as you worked and helping where he could. 

After the exam was finished, you both had become officers. He found you after the ceremony, thanking you for the help. He equated the way you worked to fighting a boss on his bs4. You had laughed at that, admitting you didnt know much about games

“Well, would you like to?”

“Like to..?”

“Learn about games”

“Sure why not”

After that, it was history. You both got together shortly after, and while you don’t have a gaming addiction like he does, you still play when you can. You were going to get him so that he could watch you kill a boss that had taken him 4 hours to beat. That was until you heard him saying that he was going to break up with you

You felt that pain in your heart again, wiping the tears away you shook your head. Before you could fully snap out of it Alarms started to ring. You got suited up quickly while being briefed on the honju, it’s fortitude was only 6.3.You needed to blow off steam, so you told the analyst that you could handle it on your own. 

That was your second mistake of the day

The honju had been fine, easy even. You had only messed up once or twice, but you had subjugated it in under an hour. You were giving an update back to the second, and then the ground beneath your feet began to shake. Slowly the kaiju in front of you began to connect itself together, and you saw a new core begin to form from the ground. How? This shouldn’t be happening

Before you could update the control a shaky voice yelled into your right ear

“New Kaiju detected, fortitude 7.8, are you sure you dont want Narumi or Jura to help you?”

You clenched your jaw hearing Narumis name, anger and irritation began to flow through your veins

“I’ll be fine”

“Are you sure? You just went up against one Honju, I know youre the vice captain but everyone has limits-”

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry”

The kaiju in front of you began to take form, it was almost slug like, the residue it was secreating was melting the ground it stood on. Breathing in you pulled out your blade once more, using the fifth form, tempest barrage, you began to harness energy, wind bending around you as you began to fight your way to its core

Once you had slashed, you felt your leg burning. Looking down you saw white

That couldn’t be right? You tried focusing your eyes, and you felt vomit rise in your mouth as you looked to your leg

You could barely call it that, the acid from the kaiju had landed on your leg, and had eaten away to your very bone.

Your head began to spin and soon enough you were on the ground.

-

As you opened your eyes you expected to be in pain, but you didn’t feel anything. Remembering what had happened, you went to grab your leg, pushing the sheets back from the hospital bed you had been in. Your skin was intact, but there was jagged lines over where the acid had touched you. 

You flinched, hearing something drop. Looking up you made eye contact with none other than Gen. You paled and he paused before running to you. He quickly rushed to you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close. 

This was cruel, really cruel. How could he act like he still cated after what he had done. You felt your eyes well up with tears again and you blamed it on whatever meds that you had been administered. You began to cry into his chest, he brought you even closer. His hands began to run through your hair, and he dres spirals into your back

“How can you- how can you just act like everythings fine?” you said through your crying

He pulled you out of his arms and looked at you confused

“What are you talking about?”

“I heard you talking to Jura that you wanted to break up with me. You don’t have to pretend anymore” you mumbled out weakly

He stared at you in shock for a second before closing his eyes. Saying nothing he left the room

Well that was it. Your life is officially over. Literally what was that

Before you could find a creative way to hang yourself with your iv, he was back. Looking away you said lowly that you didnt wanna see him.

“You idiot I wasn’t breaking up with you”

This made you turn around. “Then why else wouldn’t I be your girlfriend anymore?”

“Because,” He knelt down to one knee and your eyes widened

“I want you to be my wife”

He pulled out a ring, it was beautiful. Staring down at it brought you back to one of your gaming sessions

You had been playing a sim game, and you got to design everything your sim wore, her clothes, even her jewerly. And when she was engaged to another sim, you used that to create the “perfect” ring of your dreams. It was ruby and garnet, wrapped around a gold band.

Looking at it, it was almost the same as the one you had created. Once again your eyes welled up with tears, and you nodded vehemently before he gently put it on your finger. Bringing him closer you hugged him again, and pulled him into a deep kiss. Slowly he began to push you down onto the bed. His arms caged around you as he moved from kissing your lips to your cheek, then your jaw.

Working his way down your body he left a trail of small bruises. It was a welcomed pain, and he continued down your hip, reaching further. He stopped once he got to your leg. Tracing the ringed scar that you had recently gotten. Shivering at the sensation he looked back to you and almost moaned at the sight. 

You were beautiful, always have been, byt right now even beautiful couldnt describe you. You were ethereal, you were god-like, and he intended on worshipping you the way that you deserve. 

He quickly brought himself closer to your core, gently pushing your panties away before letting out a warm breath. You mewled at the feeling of his tongue wrapping around your clit, hands pushing your legs up and in, closer to him. He had a vice-grip on you and you couldn’t help but to moan out his name.

Smirking into you, he began to trace his digits around your lips, gathering slick before pushing one inside. You felt your back arch as he began to pick up the face, curling his fingers. One became two and two became three. Before you knew it, your legs were shaking and that all too familiar know was threatening to burst in your stomach. It took one movement of his fingers before you felt yourself releasing. And when you opened one eye too look down at him you were shocked to see his face almost covered wholly by your cum. You felt wetness settle onto your legs and the sheets, and your face burned. You had just squirted for the first time

“Well that was new”

“Shut up I don’t wanna hear anything form you”

“I wanna make you do it again”

Pulling you back towards him, he kissed you. You could taste the your salty release on his tongue and you moaned

It was gonna be a long night

[hand-stuck-in-shredder]

the angst is KILLING ME up in here HELP ugh

warning this be long

lavender, man... i havent thought about Dhuurg in a while (i named my durge and didnt.. anticipate him growing on me. u dont just namechange a child at 25 thats not how that works) cause. Durgetash. but, man. i suddenly cant move onto what im actively working on/am supposed to be finishing because this shit keeps worming its way into my brain. lavender isnt even supposed to be his "canon" but i jsut think itworks so Well for him. he has puppy eyes and i need him to struggle and be anguished

i dont think id end up writing about how he Actually ends up but.. he tries to start up a new cult, become a proper god, you know. Average Tuesday shit. lots less angst of how to learn to live with yourself after getting fragmented (spoiler alert: u cant) and missing something without knowing What youre missing n Why. the body/being remembers the mind forget et cetera.. i dont think lavender would be particularly durgetash centric, i think itd be more of a solo-piece with it being more in the background, but.. still, itd be a motivator enough for him to lose his shit when doordash dies. like what do you MEAN someone so important to me vanished just like that and i couldnt do a damn thing about it?!? even if withers (note: havent finished a durge run yet and havent been 100% spoiled. let me cook) made sure u no longer got dat Bhaal in u, for dhuurg i think it kinda just went dormant until well. that. he had a fine and dandy week of being himself until oops! tragedy! ur living with a demon again yay except this time its just murderous for the sake of habit/grieving and less because of Bhaal. youre literally just like that. you are actually an evil person. good luck coping because unless u get off the bathsalts ur not gonna be able to have an iota of a sense of "self" because surprise, u and your pal are now more integrated than before and there is no seperation anymore, your tadpole is also gone and things are So much worse because of Everything. the lavender doesnt just supress the urges it supresses U now. sedation? somewhat. you live in a beautiful field of lavender out of fear for yourself and what you are. you are softlocked, is this not for the best? there are no horizons left for you, the sun has set and the stars mock you with their long-gone light.

on the lowkey.. it occurred to me that this might be slightly reminiscent of mental illness that's somewhat stigmatized and im ngl while i dont think this concept is the same as that/taking inspiration from something that really real people suffer from, i am being cautious to kinda avoid those themes and trying to be aware of what exactly im goin for. this is more a, two snapshots of two technically seperate people fight for ownership of the body that may or may not be really theirs, with different motives, its.. idk but dhuurg cannot catch a break.

i needa learn how to draw so i can draw dhuurg being cunty and sucking gort within a negative inch of his life. he deserves something good after this ok

[mooniesstars]

any the way the wind blows spoilers!!

*simon pounding on baz's door*

*baz finally opening*

baz: what do you want snow

simon: after a lot of thinking, and running out of my surgery, i decided that yes, i will marry you

baz: oh-okay

[faeryarchives]

Yayy, another person that knows twst and genshin impact! Since requests are open, can I request for Pomefiore with a yae miko s/o headcannons? I hope you don't get tired of these kinds of request. If you don't feel comfy with this ask, then feel free to delete it!

hi anon ~ these kind of requests actually makes me happy !! i just finished yae's quest earlier and i really love her she is so funny 😭

edit: im so sorry i didnt read the s/o part dbfjebk in process of editing t_t

pomefiore with a yae miko gender neutral s/o!

kitsunes are known for their intelligence and cunning minds under their beautiful appearance

: ̗̀➛ vil schoenheit

when vil saw you for the first time - he was amazed and immediately notice how you calmly reacted to being summoned to their world like it was normal for you.

"ara? there was a light at the sakura tree and now i am here. can you kindly tell me where am i?"

"sakura tree? i don't know what that is but you are in twisted wonderland right now."

"oh, ok so i am obviously not in inazuma right now. but how could you not know a sakura tre-"

the moment he heard that you were once the head shrine maiden in your world, vil asked if you could somehow help purifying the evil ghosts residing in their dorm in which you agreed - in exchange of asking about his skincare routine.

🤨🤨🤨 what you aren't using any skincare products? how did you maintain such clear skin?!

the pomefiore dorm leader was stunned while watching you perform your purifying ritual, he never seen someone which such grace other than himself!

sometimes the two of you would talk about the light novels your publishing house had published and once you consider him as one of your close friends.

vil noticed that despite your playful demeanor, you really treasure and care those people who enters your life which can be sometimes hidden by playing pranks on ace and deuce causing riddle going after you.

going shopping and make-over with vil is a must because why not? you will get the chance to go on shopping with your boyfriend who is looking a way to spend time with you despite his busy schedule.

overall, vil really enjoy your company despite pulling pranks on his makeup and such.

"sly potato, give me back my makeup brush."

"what if i don't? are you going to kiss me?"

"(name)"

"oooh, you want to kiss me so bad."

spoiler alert, he did which left you standing there with a faint blush on your face. the dorm leader couldn't wipe off the smile he had for the whole day - finally he did something that left you stunned.

: ̗̀➛ rook hunt

rook already has his eyes on you once he learned that you were a kitsune, and he was actually having fun with you! you didn't run away from him like leona or got angry at him like malleus but you entertain him with your mind games.

"how far can grim run into the woods?"

"why of course monsieur hirsute can run up to the botanical garden!"

"my my your first guess is absolutely wrong! he could only go halfway because after that, he is running out of the woods."

"all i wanted was to get back to the dorm, why did i end up in this."

he finds it amusing that you could actually keep your friends in check while having that smile on your face. he rarely see you without your signature smile whenever someone overblots.

what rook really admire about you was your ability to be able to read and influence people

"grim ~ can you get me some fried tofu in the cafeteria? i'll give you a tuna if you do."

moments later when the cat gave you your food, grim demanded to know where is his tuna

"it's right there"

"that is the tuna i was holding earlier!"

"i am giving it to your right now so whats your point?"

cue the angry complains of your cat companion 😾

the hunter once tried to see your tail but just ended up being zapped by your electro vision.

everyone in nrc knows if they put you on the same team during school festival - your team will immediately won with your mischievous plan and rook's actions.

putting you, grim and rook together - the three of you could recreate team rocket ☄️

whenever you feel tired from keeping your friends out of trouble, rook is here to save the day! the hunter will spoil you with praises and cuddles! sometimes he would also have your favorite food ready .

"you are the best rook, i love you so much."

"anything for ma cherie! can you perhaps show me your kitsune form?"

"don't even try."

: ̗̀➛ epel felmier

someone help this boy because you start teasing him when you saw him the first time. he just remind you of a certain eared war general in your world, how could you not resist? 😗

"epel i have a gift for you~"

"what is - no don't ya dare give me that apple pear!"

"just kidding look i just put mini illusion on it its actually normal apples."

"i thought you can only use your electro vision?"

"mmm yeah?"

"... no."

you were always mindful of complimenting epel knowing he doesn't like being mistaken for a girl because of his features in which he is really grateful for.

due to vil's request, you would sometimes give epel training by fighting your kitsune spirits which normally ended up him screaming in frustration

"i thought you were helping me to train, why do the foxes keep dodging my attack?!"

"i didn't know they weren't supposed to move? what's the use of training?"

epel would always remind himself to not let you near any prickled food knowing that you hate them with passion.

shower him with compliments how manly he is whenever he is feeling down or cuddle him! it will boost his mood1 00%

poor boy always fall for your tricks. it wasn't his fault he easily believe you because he can't even distinguish your facial expressions!

needless to say, epel felt like he won the lottery for having the best s/o who dotes on him

epel even roped you and grim eating ramen for midnight snacks at ramshackle dorm but hush don't tell the pomefiore dorm leader and vice leader know it's the secret between the three of you.

[pocketed-fool]

Little details in HK soundtracks that make me go insane, SPOILER ALERT. DO NTO READ IF YOU HAVENT PLAYED/FINISHED THE GAME.

-in the Broken Vessel soundtrack you can hear this low scratching sound at the very beginning, sounds almost like a very low growl. This sound is the same sound used in the Abyss to create the atmosphere and possibly the actual sound of the Void surrounding the area.

The shitfting from this sound to a low brass in the same key and then to the Cello is actually a genius move if you ask me.

Thank you, Christopher Larkin.

-Hornet's theme is just the Pale King's theme but rearranged and in a different rhythm.

-Im just thankful that they added the Radiance's screech in the Sealed Vessel soundtrack.

-Just. That one section in Sealed Vessel where the music stretches the main theme and ends the section with the instruments actually "stabbing".

...seems pretty fitting, since the Hollow Knight will actively stab themselves shortly after.

- Dirthmouth and Greenpath have the same melodies.

- I almost forgot to add that that low growling sound of the Void can also be heard in the main theme during the very first seconds.

- i like to think "Decisive Battle" was based on Quirrel's style of character since this track seems very fitting for the battle against Uumuu (dont @ me, it has that vibe and i cant help it)

- the beginning of the game starts with just our (and the Hollow Knight) theme and ends with both the Pale King and the Hollow Knight themes.

Check the last part of Sealed Vessel to realize that those single piano notes are just the main theme and the PK theme playing together simultaneously.

-i didnt heccing know why the piece "Reflection" was called that way until i went for the "Dream no more" Ending.

- the humming sound of the Godseeker is just a rearrangment of the HK main theme.

- just. Just. THAT one piano/chorus section in Radiance that builds up and brings you to the final section of the piece.

-Pale Court. Just Pale Court.

- That one part in Lace when more Violins add to the melody and play the theme.

-Resting Grounds is just a rearrangment of Hollow Knight.

Both main melody and chords.

-WHY DID CHRISTOPHER LARKIN CUT FROM THE ORIGINAL CITY OF TEARS THEME THE PART RIGHT AFTER THE CUT.

The chorus in the looped full version with the piano in the background is just beautiful. Very effing beautiful.

- Kingdom's Edge.

- FUNGAL WASTES IS ALREADY A GRET TRACK BUT.

FUNGAL WASTES IN MANTIS AREA??? WITH THAT HARPSICHORD IN THE BG SIGNALING THE PRESENCE OF THE MANTISES? AND THE LOW STRINGS THAT CREATE THAT COOL ATMOSPHERE??? DUDE.

-Crystal Peak is just so good. And if you listen closely, when the music lowers on game, you can hear the crystals actually singing.

(The sound of the crystals is the same they used for the Steel soul menu screen after completion of the run).

-DREAMERS IS JUST DREAM BUT MAKE IT TRAGIC AND SAD AND ACTUALLY PAINFUL TO LISTEN TO.

-Beauty and Hatred. I didnt even know it was Zote's theme. Or better. The Grey Prince Zote, since everything isnt about Zote himself but the image of him that Bretta has in her head.

- The Grimm Troupe makes me want to lie down in a long black gown and drink blood.

Nightmare King Grimm makes me want to commit crimes but in goth style.

- Enter Hallownest but the part at the end where the sounds of the instruments fade altogether into this beautiful chord. God.

-White Palace. That part with the piano. THAT part.

[gaylonelydyke]

if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

[arpiniko]

So art review huh? ofc i'm later that most other artists. i always am.

what a year huh?

i know it is supposed to be only about art in here. but i really feel like sharing the overall run of that year. for myself. and since my ankle is swollen and in a bit of pain from unknown spider bite and i cant sleep its a good time to write it right? i'll tag it as a long post i guess so you can skip it. and maybe figure out how to put this all unter a cut on pc later.

january 2k21. what a year. or more. it felt like it lasted for actual 3years or 5min. i remember only deep darkness. oh i spiralled down as if i were pole dancing slide then. moment ago, i was with my fren buying some xmass presents for her fam and some of her frens. oh i was jealous of that. her having them in some kind of unwritten deal of getting each other presents. i wanted to be that. i wanted to matter to others. and just few days later. jan. and i felt so bad i told her i might be taking a break from social interactions. spoiler alert. itwas the dummiest thing i did all year. or actually the outright bad, terrible step. that made me miserable. i barely started that tarot art series, i had huge hopes with that. but. i mentally was so low. the lowest ever. just finished my phd. my bro wed. my other bro created a one man photo studio or sth. and i was the most miserable i ever was. even worse than after or before any operation i had.

january was... a void. so was feb, and march and april. but with those i will write more below. but... it was terrible for me. i got out of bed bc i had no other idea living with parents and having them 24/7 around. thats good in retrospect. but i can tell weekly i ate maybe total of 4 dishes. not full. just dishes. the only thing that got me going was my hammy. Płomyczek. little flame if you may, my little sunshine. you remember that post about a guy who had depression and got shrimps and they elevated him from the darkness? it was similar but not as strong. it just kept me.... nose above the water level.

also. january was just after my granny had a head stroke. she spent few weeks at hospital recovering. and you would expect her to come back very disabled. many have that after one. but she came back so similar. tired. recovering. relearning how to write, and loosing words. but... she could walk. read. count remember talk and do basicly anything she could before. so thats a great news! she still needed a lot of help. shes being after hesd stroke. grandpa still recovering after his half foot amputation. that was not ..... ideal. and i had to be the one, in my very drowning condition, that took care of them. me. who barely ate a 2day meals over the week. i had to have strenght to help granny with groceries, carry and help grandpa with putting on clothes, any house chores. i was living for them. not for me. i barely lived for hammy. and now i had to find any strenght to go daily and commute 1h each time to grandparents. do art. bc that was the only thing i did for myself then.

february was very similar. i drew some more tarot (thanks gods i at least could do any art at all), took care of plomyczek and grandpas and i got back on discord on one group. just one. it was the art one with few of my irl freinds. they didnt do much like... they couldnt. i would not allow to drag others with me. oh right. i forgot to mention why the isolation from my fren in the first place. she was going through her very hard and exhausting studies. some other shit oappened o her. and she was already succumbing to darkness. and my foolish ass though that with breaking any convos with her would ease the pain she had. that i wouldnt flood with my problems and i was dgragging her down. maybe i was. maybe i wasnt i dont know that. anyway. the dc. that was another spark that kept me up. just. social interactions. seeing other ppl arts. hearing their ups and downs and just.... people. around. even virtually. that was. what actually i think lifted me up. i wasnt just nose over water level. it was one eye. sometimes two. or maybe mouth. but still never good. but it was a little step forward.

so far forward that:

march.

i wrote a letter. with pen in paper. you know the one you see in movies or sth. to my fren. the one i ghosted. bc i felt a bit better. and i saw in her update on ig as i randomly after a long time of inactivity i saw she was very much struggling with her uni and life. and i wasnt there. but i wasnt yet ready. or rather i already went so deep i didnt know how to speak again. so i wrote a letter to her. i know i tend to over you i's and me's and all when i talk. so i prioritised in there to onlt speak of her. to encourage, to give her a bit of reassuring. i am so bad with words. it must have been terrible letter. on one hand i hope she burned it bc it was awful. but on the other. i hope it means to her. bc she means a lot to me!

i gave her the letter with a bit of hmmmmmm snacks? i dont know... few snacks, a bit of cookies i baked with very little strength that i used to bake them rather than eat for a day i believe. but. i said i gave her it? well plan was to just go to her home and just..... hang it on the fence. i wasnt ready to face her. i really wasnt. but.... something made me not hang it. i... texed her. asking is she was at home. oh gods i trembled so hard there. it was hella cold but my body was so boiling from cold sweat. i was pretty sure i was gonna collapse or run away or dunno. but she was there. she went out. saw me. and invited over. oh i was pathethic. i still am. even now reminiscing about that brings up tears. but. if i had therapist they would say it was the greatest step i could do atthat state. anyway. we had a bit of talk. i was crying all the way. but i hoped we can just ignore it and take it as a game bug xD i believe. i want to believe i helped her. somehow. just her knowing, maybe? that i care. i miss her. i do regret. but ok. she sorted out the school stuff not soon after. so i like to tell myself at least i .... didnt nailed her coffin.

there was other thing that happened in march. barely it started. i... had to bid farewell to plomyczek. some things happened. maybe my neglectence or some other reason. but he caught some nasty bacteria. and basicly blocked his nose. and hamster cant breath with mouth as humans. i run like crazy. on even less sleep and food than before. i went to 3 diff vets. gave him a lot of meds. but i was too late, he was too tired. and the source of it wasnt knows. who knows? maybe that was covid? but i decided to put him to sleep. ahd here comes more tears. oh boy. he was my sunshine. my little flame of hope. when i chaned his water i got some for myself. i gave him a apple and got some for myself.he greeted me in the evening and was by me all the worst hours of the day back then. and he left. i just hoped he never had to suffer. honestly. i only remember that rush time as a blur. i only wanted him to be safe and happy. only that matters. ..... that was very hard emotionally month for me.

april. it took me about month. to recover from grief. maybe long maybe short. i still miss plomyczek very much. i started talking with ren a bit. very, very little. but thats better than nothing. slowly i guess. but this month wasnt easy on me either. some may say its nothing. but for me it was... very difficult. i mean i got new hamster. maybe too fast. maybe not. wegielek. little coal. (i guess you can tell i have a certain system for names heh) and i believe he was a bit traumatised in a pet shop. dunno how exactly but his socialization and taming was very difficult. nonetheless i loved him immediately. he has a little temperament. and i love wim with his little trauma. i try to ease it as i can. and it works most of the time. but he still has some ticks. but i love him. so thats a happy thing to happen.

the unhappy thing is... april i know as my birthday. well mine and my bro. since hes also from april (later few days but older 3 years). i know corona and stuff was still happening barely first vaccs were given to eldest. but he still invited some frends over. then went to bar to have a drink. and... me. i.... i ofc got some wishes from fam. since they are there 24/7 right. but.... i got only one more wish from friend. and not the one that i was close with anymore. and thats it. we had a thing on that dc server where we wrote our bday dates. and we would cheer and all for each other... and somehow.... none noticed. i also spent the whole day. waiting for the one little text. from that fren. but none came in. not that day. not tomorrow. not week later. she forgot. everyone did.

but you know. one person. one anonymous on here. one person wrote me a little bday wishes as ask. and i havent replied to that yet. why? bc that alone kept me up for months now. its sincere. and i hope whoever sent it had a wonderful year and has a amazing this and next and next and next and how long they want. thank you.

and april finished. i was devastated about that birthday. i was so sad. i actually spent the next day never getting up. first time in a year. even my family felt i couldnt get up. but it passed.

i dont really remember much about may. meaning nothing too bad happended then. oh wait no. i do remember one thing. just after the end of april i twisted my ankle. and had to get some first aid or whatever its called. and i realized my insurance might be gone by now. i have never worked. i only went to school and that ended in 2020. and i actually might have to pay few hundreads for my health. (shaddup americans. this is new concept to me. let me be scared as well) turned out my uni's insurance was valid till end of may. i was safe for now. but what then? covid was raging. work was either impossible to get or i had no mental capacity to even apply let alone attend anything. so maybe another studies? course? anything. and i applied for a free school for a disabled and elderly caretaker assistant. me. a pshysicly disabled bitch with crippling depression were to learn how to take care of others. ye i know, jokes.

but i had to take whatever. and classes were online anyway and never in peson and never even knew my teacher bc all was sent in pdf's etc. but i.... learned. a bit. ye. finally after years understood how to read and understood pressure. thanks school. so that. attending these classes made my legal status again as a student. meaning my fam can connect me to their insurance and it doesnt cost like 100+zl per month but barely 6zl a month. big diff right. and i kept that status through holidays.

ah yes. holidays.

june july and august. there weren't much stuff happening again. usual. nothingness during covid times, i stayed home that time. i even had i think 2 weeks free house. home alone if you will. i havent rested in so long like back then. i felt so much better. i hadnt my family constantly on my back since they went to mountainside. i hoped i could invite some friends over but non could. i tho got invited to my friend for oh ever so divine pierogi! or rather dumplings. bc they were gyosa dumplings. but holy fuk! she made them herself and as always they were just so delicious, and she made herself the sauce and oh gods i'm hungry now. (that friend is one of admins on that dc server i mentioned) i wish i could cook something for her in return but its never goingvto be so oh sooooooo amazing and her dumplings.

this post is already hella long. but also there wasnt much great or terrible happenings. i cant pinpoint most of the events to the certain date or sth. but there was few good things - usual meeting with local art friends from around were resumed! unfortuantely on black saturday (you know us have black friday and poland has black week) so the crowds around were AWFUL. and the meet was smaller than usual also bc covid. but it was still so amazing to meet these few ppl i havent met ever since covid started.

on the other hand. my psychiatrist lets say... broke up with my case. like she straight forward told me she sees she doesnt help me anymore and i shall find a new one. which is fine i guess. i understand where she comes from. but it also felt a bit like a betrayal. but. what is importan she gave me prescription for my meds for half a year. thats good. plenty of time to fine new one. but also. somehow. i dont recall exactly when. but i.... gradually stopped taking meds since that event. and i know what some may say - its very dangerous, and i will spiral down or sth. but. BUT. i took into consideration all that. i have them on hand all the time. if i ever feel like my chin is touching the water. i have them. i can get them. but the thing is. i may not be happy yet. i may be so oh so broken still. but. its much much better than i was before.

this january. vs the one last year. i cant even comprehend anymore how i could led to that drowning. and after i stoped taking meds. and mind you its now about 4-5th month since then, i have much better controll over myself, my moods, my thoughts. my mind and body. i still will burst into tears when thinking of plomyczek, i still am zoning out and dissociating, bit also i get myself together slowly. i make some small changes to my life. very small. but before, they were impossible, i am starting again on building my portfolio to get to art school. hopefully i'll make it till june, and i finnally hoping to get myself to some therapy and doc that will tell me if i have adhd bc that shit sounds too familiar to not be a case in my too many problems xD

things arent bright yet. but they are not overwhelmingly dark and drowning as they were. in this deep black waters i think i finally found place where i can keep my head above water and feel my feet on some ground. i do hope i can get up and get better soon!

so, to everyone that ever helped me, with word, with thought, with commission, with smile or pierogi, with a hug or a funky meme, i see you and i love you a little bit. Thank you! it really means a lot to me!

[regular-john-16278]

Thinking about rabbit imagery

So in the last 24 hours I've seen Donnie Darko with my pal, and I've seen a few episodes of the Untamed by myself (for the first time, nearly finished the series)

AAAANDDD I found it weirdly interesting that both have multiple references to rabbits and are somehow so different when talking about rabbits (stick with me ere, i could be talking utter shit or this could be mildly interesting)

The most notable rabbit in donnie darko is of course Frank, big scary blue lad

Now (spoiler alert) we find out that this of course is NOT a real rabbit, but in fact a very attractive time-traveling man dressed up in a bunny-suit for halloween

STICK WITH ME this lad breaks ALL rabbit stereotypes, the general one as Donnie says in class is that (n im paraphrasing) 'rabbits r great bc theyre cute and horny'. Aside from frank being attractive out of the suit (although i watched it w my bf once and he didnt like frank, the weirdo) its blatantly that IN the suit which is what makes him a rabbit, yh hes neither cute nor horny

SO theres another reference to rabbits in Donnie Darko as they read and watched Watership Down as a class. This was again interesting to me, as the rabbits in watership down are unlike normal rabbits, even their warren system being akin to a human government system. Their focus on leadership, home, humanity and adapting (amongst many other things) make for an interesting parallel with the main donnie darko rabbit, but still arent quite the cute and horny rabbit reference we all know and love.

RIGHT SOOOO H O W E V E R

in The Untamed there is a repeated reference to rabbits, I haven't finished it yet so idk if there are more aside from the one's im going to mention, but their approach to rabbits is very different. The use of rabbits in the series has become weirdly interesting to me after finding out that that in Chinese mythology, they are the symbol of queerness (rabbit God of homosexuality being Tu'er Shen)

There are repeated rabbit scenes and they end up kind of representing their relationship, from finding them in the Cloud Recess, Lan WangJi continuing to look after them even once Wei Wuxian has left, releasing a lantern with a drawing of a rabbit on it (and Lan WangJi looking very adoringly at it), BUYING a rabbit lantern together and drunk Lan WangJi admitting he loves rabbits...theyre a permanent feature.

SO rabbits in two very different things, somehow representing two very different things

despite this, both are FILLED with symbolism as to what the rabbits actually represent. In Donnie Darko, its a mixture of halloween costume hiding gunshot as well as watership down rabbits and their human qualities. In The Untamed, its underlying gay relationships that can't be explicitly shown and underlying homoeroticism etcetc, starkly different.

Yes this ended up being me talking shit, but idk i just found it interesting how rabbits can mean and represent two very different things, and can stick with people in very different ways.

yeah.

[littlespaceporgs]

The Clone Wars Reacts - Part 5

Or Leah loses her shit at Jar Jar, thirsts for Aayla Secura for an episode and a half, and then swoons for Riyo Chuchi.

Welcome once more to the Reacts series! I’m a busy woman for now but I am setting up a schedule for this series which will be

Today we’re covering episodes 12, 13, 14 and BONUS! 15. This is because I got super bored during episode 14 and basically didnt write anything so, here you go! As per usual, major spoiler alert for season 1 of the clone wars! If you haven’t read the previous parts to this series, I suggest you do so that you can follow along! 

Part 1 - Episodes 1 and 2 Part 2 - Episodes 3, 4 and 5 Part 3 - Episodes 6, 7 and 8 Part 4 - Episodes 9, 10 and 11

Tags (if you want to join, my taglist can be found on my page!): @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @girlvader @simping-for-fives @littlevodika @hounding-around @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @onabouteverything @acciokenobi @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @roseofalderaan @fractiouskat

We’re well past the half-way point, so there is 2 parts left of season 1, and then onto season 2! So lets get into it!

Episode 12: The Gungan General

> heheheheheheheh jar jar I am KEEN

> I get hondo and jar jar in one episode

>> this’ll be funny

>>> actually no scratch that, this is gonna be hilarious

> oh and they woke up in a cell this will be fun

> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA AND THEYRE BOUND TO DOOKU

> DISASTER I TELL YOU

> “if I keep my mouth shut you’ll devise a plan so get off the god forsaken planet?” “YES”

> this dude seems traitorous as fuck (im referring to one of the pirates, not dooku shockingly)

> I wish Ahsoka and Yoda were in this too, I want more disaster lineage

> ah he is indeed a traitor

> “HEIDY HO CHANCELLOR”

> JAR JAR WHOO

> “stop messing around, we’re landing. Secure yourself” “MESA TRYING ITS STUCK”

> promptly followed by jar jar falling everywhere

> oh and now he’s in the cockpit

> oh shit that senator guy is definitely dead right?

> “do control tour protégées insolence” “anakin, control your insolence, the count is concentrating”

> “do we know where we’re going?” “Ssh anakin” “DO we know where we’re going?”

> is it safe? Of course it i- riiiiiight

>> I forgot this was the clone wars for a second, this is gold

> FRIENDS DONT DRUG FRIENDS HONDO

> y’know, dooku’s quite amusing when he’s not trying to kill my favourite characters

> “are you now in command” “uh no, binks is the highest ranking” ooooohhhh boy

> ooooooohhhh and some mind tricks too, nice

> I hate to say this, but jar jar is actually smart

> holy shit

> beasties are nearby too, we’ll be fine. they run, we run

>> Dayum jar jar actually making good decisions?

> I present a real and accurate image of my reaction to this statement

> Mesa be having an idea oooohhh booooyyy

> obi wan that is no way to speak to your grandmaster

> be patient master the count is elderly and doesn’t move like he used to

> I would kill you both now if I didn’t have to drag your bodies

>> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH this is the only reaction I’ll accept

> then falling all over each other is the only thing I’ve ever needed to see

> “ this is not going well” no shit

> my question is why did obi wan not drop Dooku?? Does he actually still care about this man?

> you’re right, I don’t think youre going to be friends 🤦‍♀️😂

> sneaky lying snake

> bruh they don’t even know you’ve got the Jedi captive??????????

>> so how does that work you dumbass

> no shit, you will look like fools obi wan

> “there be some bombad clankers” 😂😂

>> “huh YOURE right, bombad clankers” I love the shock

> YOURE RIGHT HE IS SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS, GIVE JARJAR SOME CREDIT

> oh boy anakin, just keep your mouth shut genius

> man electrocution doesn’t look like fun

> HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

> The next few lines of confused joy are me reacting to jar jar somehow single handedly taking out 3 tanks

> what the fuck

> JarJar I I’m what-

> JUST DID A GOOD THING, I DONT REGERT THIS THING AT ALLLLLLLL

> fuckin JarJar was great

> “KILL HIM HES NOT A REPRESENTATIVE, HES A PLAGUE” I’m ded 💀😢💀

> serves you right you snake, now dooku gonna choke your ass

> oooohhhhh that’s how these two twits (hondo and obi-wan) became friends

> “and... he knows where you live” Oof the subtle threat is real

> hem I love obi wan very much and his sarcasm

 Episode 13: Jedi crash

> I JUST SAW AAYLA I AM EXCITED I AM ALSO ATTRACTED TO HER VERY MUCH

> SHES HOT

> I LOVE HER

> AND HER VOICE JUST MAKES ME ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

> I wish I was bly, not gonna lie

> I have a quick question - the 501st colour is blue right? Then why do they have a gold squad, doesn’t the extra colours just confuse things?

> I love seeing anakin and Ahsoka in action coolest thing to watch

> And anakin

>> I am also quite attracted to him

>>> imagine dragging your hands through that hair as he- wait no I have minors in my followers not gonna finish that

> Uh oh

>> Oh anakin you twit

>>> HE LOCKED HOMSELF IN WITH AN EXPLOSION JDGKJDJFKFKFKFKFF

> HES INSANE

> Are all Jedi so reckless? Just the good ones - love this by the way

> Oooohh shit for a STAR

> I mean like? I know anakin doesn’t die, but this shit is concerning

> Perfected the art of destroying ships and getting master almost killed? Sounds familiar

> I hate it when they just call them “padawan “ it just feels very impersonal like bleh

> Like I love aayla but god the Jedi preach some bullshit

>> God forbid someone raises a child and gets attached to it

>>> Like for fucks sake

>>>> Can you tell this is something I’m passionate about?

> Anyway, moving on

> Oh hi anakin! You’re alive!

> That bird lookin thing is tryna eat my boy 😤

> Oop - well that dudes dead

> Aawwwwwww aayla looks so sad, this makes me sad too

> Can we just appreciate this?

> Well these little critters are cute

> Ooooohhh I think I agree with this little dude

> You can skip the paragraph if you like, its just me going off about ‘peacekeeping’

> Alright gonna get mildly into it for a second, the clone wars really gets into it with episodes like this, displaying how the entire galaxy was starting to lose faith in the Jedi and their peacekeeping ways, in the movies we just got that people just started hating the Jedi because they became part of the war, but this really fleshes it out and shows just how slowly and gradually the loss of faith is. Because he’s right, the Jedi aren’t peacekeepers anymore, they bring as much destruction with them that the separatists do and have become symbols of war. They’re fighting for a good reason yes, but they can no longer claim that they are peacekeepers or that they played no role in this war.

> ANYWAY BACK TO REACTS

> AH MY TWO FAVOURITE WOMEN AND A PRETTY BACKGROUND AGAIN!! They really do be doing me a great service

Part 14: Defenders of Peace

> I’m really not into this episode, just saying it now

> Anakins just as bad as obi wan, like honestly just chill bro, fucking REST

>> MY BOYS DESERVE SOME GODDAMN REST AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL OK-

> Okay but is it taking a life if it’s a droid?

> Ugh this dudes ugly as fuck

> What did you think was gonna happen?? Of course your village was going to be ransacked

> I could go on forever about the pointlessness of this war like it just makes me mad palpatine you slimy git-

> My reacts this episode are really boring huh, I’m not into it 😭

*fully I didn’t write anything for about 10 minutes here because it’s just a little boring*

> HOLY SHIT NOW THATS A FUCKING WEAPON

> Yep sorry that’s it for this ep, I’m so bored 😂

>> Anyway, bonus episode because that one was short!

Part 15: Trespass

> YES OBIWAN WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

> AND IS THAT RIYO CHUCHI I SPY?????

> Hahahahahahahhahahaha it’s not tatooine, you got that right

> Oh god this dude already sounds like a dick (its the chancellor dude but not palpatine)

> Why’s he so defensive over it?

> Oh yikes, that does not look good

> Seppies don’t do that though - this is... odd

> Ah and the same thing has been done to the droids

> Off topic, but I think I’m going to make a clone wars drinking game that I can do while I do my reacts, so I’m going to make that this week, send me your ideas in the comments or dm me!

> Back to ep - pfffffffttt obi wans little taps and then anakin really goes WHACK

> Anyway I’m going to do this in the next couple days and then every Friday night I’ll watch a few eps and drink away

> Alright back to the episode once more

> Abominable snowman????

>> Definitely

> This is gonna go well isn’t it?

> “Well? Say something”

>> “Just shut up” *visible eye roll*

> What the fuck is their mouth

> Okay really obi wan, I think it’s pretty clear they don’t speak basic

> YEEEEEEAAAHHH THATS MY BOI ANAKIN

> Awwwwwwww that shits cute, fucking bear huugggg I want to be hugged like that

> I’m not fussed if it’s anakin, obi wan or kit fisto but please someone love me

>> Preferably kit fisto

> Anyway this dudes a dick (again, its the chancellor dude)

> They obviously have intelligence, and this dude has issues

>> I’m thinking he’s trying to compensate for something 👀

> Oof you really gonna tell a Jedi what to do?

> HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA the other people’s were there already

> Ugh he reminds me of my very racist grandparents oh boy

> You’ve been told like 4 times that it is not your jurisdiction anymore and you still can’t take it?

>> BRUH

> She’s so tiny and adorable and her voice is just 🥰🥰🥰🥰

>> Oh no

>>> I’m simping for another character

> Surely this guy dies

> HAHAHAHAHAH HE JUST GOT SPEARED SERVES YOU RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER

> What a dick, he shall not be missed

> She’s just, so pretty??? And smart????

>> FUCK MY BISEXUAL ASS CANT HANDLE THIS

> he’s seriously not dead yet?

> AAAHH RIYO YOU SMART GIRL YEEEEESSSS NEGOTIATE THAT PEEEEAAACCEEEE

> THATS MY GIRL SENATOR CHUCHI YEEEESSS

Welp that’s it for today folks, it was lovely, see y’all at some point this week where I say the drinking game rules and then next drunken Friday (even though these are gonna be released on saturdays but I write them on fridays?)

[bloomyn]

hhShshusushWiu ur writing is gorgeous and beautiful I wish I could write like u 👿 could you write me a scenario of the pillars in a modern day au college or high school (it don’t matter g) with a foreign exchange student who is super nice and cute and innocent friendly etc and maybe them developing a crush on them 👉👈 then one day they invite them to do a tik tok dance with them and theN THEY JUST THROW IT BACK or body roll and the pillar is just LIKe o\\\o AhahHHAHA it’s a weird req but ty!

a/n: ahhh you’re too sweet omg !!! this request was so much fun to write LOL,,all i could think about was the pillars tryna catch it while you threw it back N E WAY,,hope you enjoy :)

when you had arrived in japan through your study abroad program you hadn’t expected to make too many friends. you were there to study, to get you’re degree and go back home. but, um, spoiler alert: nothing ever goes the way you planned.

walking through campus halls you went through your mental checklist

showered? check

finished your modern lit assignment? check

actually packed your lunch? che- oh 

you mentally rolled your eyes. you hadn’t exactly planned to spend money today but it was fine, as long as you didn’t get something to drink tomorrow morning. besides, you were meeting up with your friends later and they insisted on keeping you pretty well fed. you smiled at the thought of your friend group, loud? yes. loving? double yes. whatever that meant.

“[l/n] - chan!” someone shouted from behind you. turning your head you were met with three familiar faces. grinning you started walking towards the group.

“good morning kocho-san, rengoku-san, shinazu-’

the silver haired student flicked your forehead, “oi [l/n] - chan how many times have we told you to drop the honorifics you brat.”

you laughed, shooting him a smile, “ah sorry sanemi!”

the other two rolled their eyes at sanemis antics. “you’re too cute for your own good you know [l/n]?” shinobu said, hooking her arm through yours.

you sighed, “i never know what you mean by that you know.”

meanwhile behind you, rengoku was trying to laugh at his friends pathetic attempts at flirting.

“shut.up. before i rip your hair off.”

the other man only snickered, “i’m pretty sure abusing your crush’s forehead isn’t a top ten flirting tactic - OW!”

you and shinobu turned around to see sanemi trying to beat rengoku into the linoleum floors. hurriedly you ran to sanemis side, pulling at his arm. while shinobu laughed into her arm. realizing that it was you gripping his bicep (he’d have to process that later) sanemi released the other man (who by the way was perfectly fine).

“sanemi you really have to stop picking fights with everyone you know.” you chided, brushing his shoulders off. he turned away from your innocently pouting face, “yeah.yeah. i will.”

“funny how you say that everytime but never follow through.” a new voice popped up, breaking you two apart. 

obanai and mitsuri walked up, joining the group and you could feel the annoyance practically vibrating off of sanemis body. 

you rolled your eyes, “can i just go to class please?”

----

you groaned, taking your seat at the lunch table your friends had claimed.

“is everything alright [l/n].”

you peered up at gyomei’s figure, “modern lit was just a bit annoying.but i feel better now!.”

ah how cute the older student thought. 

soon enough the rest of your friends had made their way to the table and wrapped you in conversations and dumb jokes.

“oh [l/n] i forgot to show you!.” mitsuri hopped out of her seat and came up behind you, shoving her phone in your face. pressing play on the tiktok. you flushed red as the video continued, the two dancers on the screen comfortably rolling their bodies to the music.

“ah - i...”

the group broke out in laughter, even giyuu managed to crack a smile. 

“please will you try it [l/n]?” mitsuri chirped

“oh i don’t know--”

“if you’re worried about the partner thing i already roped sanemi into it since he beat me up earlier.” rengoku smirked, and it wasn’t like sanemi was going to say no to having you dance in front of him

you froze.

ah this was quite the predicament wasnt it? well, it wasn’t like you didnt have a few private drafts saved of the exact same dance anyway.

“sure, we can try.”

after a few minutes of learning the dance, sanemi reluctantly stood up. i mean, it wasn’t like you were actually going to, you know

the others gathered behind the phone. you pressed the self timer and ran to a blushing sanemi. and then the music started.

the first few moves were simple, nothing to extravagant, but the next move...

okay it wasn’t like you hadn’t practiced throwing it back in the privacy of your own dorm. and you definitely weren’t bad at it. 

so when you flawlessly rolled your body down and arched your back up, everyone froze. you only realized the effects of you actions when sanemi didn’t continue the dance and instead had opted to crouch down and bury his face in his hands.

“s-sanemi?”

obanai was the first to recover, laughing as you waved a hand in front of sanemis face. 

“ i think you broke him [l/n] “

“ i didnt mean too--”

“ WHERE? WHAT?” mitsuri shrieked, “AH L/N! WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT!”

you laughed nervously. the rest of your friends had erupted into chatter asking you questions, when had you learned to do that? what else were you hiding behind that sweet exterior?

but sanemi still hadn’t gotten up.

you took his hands in yours, “sanemi are you okay.”

shyly, he nodded, gripping your hands even harder. 

----

“i still can’t believe he managed to ask you out after that.”

“HEY!”

you bit the inside of your lip and smiled, bringing yourself closer to sanemis body. he took your hand in his and kissed you knuckles.

“i thought it was cute.” you murmured against his chest. 

“stop being gross!” uzui said, flicking a fry toward the both of you. “its very cute that you found love but also gross!”

somehow you too had managed to work the whole long distance thing out and for the next couple weeks you were able to stay in japan, it was “for work” you had told your boss. 

you embraced the warmth of your friends and your lover, maybe you hadn’t expected this in the beginning but your glad your ‘study only party never’ plans had been foiled

...and that tiktok had managed to get you date with your future husband.

----

requests : open

[w4ndermelon]

i just finished reading this book entitled "we were liars". and there is not even a scrabble word for how i felt after i read the last chapter. if you know you know.

i literally bawled my eyes out and cried myself to sleep. thats the thing about me, i EASILY (all caps to emphasize) get attached to anything and anyone. be it a book character, anime, movie cast, just anything. when they are happy, i celebrate with them. when they are troubled, i fear with them, and when they are grieving, i cry with them.

the plot twist fucking blew my mind away. *spoiler alert* cadence, the protagonist of the story, together with her cousins and gat did a terrible thing that didnt end really well for all of them. they plot this crime and when everything seemed perfect, it all fell apart right in front of her very own eyes.

i thought while reading there are actual moments in my life when i experienced that instance. the part where you are very sure of something but then it ended the opposite way of what you imagined it to be like. and there's nothing you can do, no matter how much liters of tears you cry or how loud you shout out of frustration. theres no reset button. its not a dream where you can just wake up when things are too much to take.

all we can do is just regret and face the consequences.

[vagarius]

misukazu 21

(if you saw me fuck up the other one no you didnt)

EDIT I THINK THIS ONE GOT A LITTLE FUCKED UP TOO BUT IT’S... READABLE...

questions from this post, and answers originally written for this thread!!

If you had to change the pairing’s very first meeting, how would you change it?    their canon first meeting is already so good SHDGFLJASHG but if i had to choose a different one that's still within the context of mankai... meeting as kids and losing touch and coming back together completely different at mankai

What song fits your pairing the most?    uhhHHhhHHH i don't have a real answer but i do have a partial playlist for one of my misukazu aus and the only two songs in it are furaregai girl by sayuri and champagne's for celebrating by mayday parade and i feel like that says enough sldhgalsdhfalsh

What is your favorite AU/prompt idea/trope for your pairing?     ALL MISUKAZU AUS ARE GOOD but. i really love any au where their first meeting is in the future and both are still kind of lost but they're Older and it's hard to let themselves fall into the easy trust they find in canon. i just think that'd be neat.

Do you prefer canon ideas or do you have your own headcanons for them?     I'VE SAID THIS MANY TIMES BUT CANON MISUKAZU GIVES OFF MADE FOR EACH OTHER VIBES AND USUALLY I DON'T VIBE WITH THAT BUT THEY REALLY ARE WHAT THE OTHER NEEDS... AND I THINK EVEN IF THEY HAD TO PART THEY'D STILL BE ABLE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE BC THEY HAD MET

Favorite canon moment of them?     THERE ARE SO MANY but the one that immediately comes to mind is misumi carrying drunk kazu to bed (latest bday line) because drunk kazu is so soft and it implies that misumi wanted to wish happy birthday to kazu pretty late... what did he want to give him...

Least favorite canon moment of them?     hmm... there's not really one i can think of??? IM SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY I LOVE ALL THEIR CANON MOMENTS

Favorite headcanon trope/idea? (Your own or someone else’s)    this is somehow both vague and very specific but i think misukazu gives off this vibe: He's beautiful. I can't tell him. or "Kazu is always beautiful~" Don't call me that, Kazu thinks. I'm not. so... insecurities i guess ????? AJSHAJJD

Favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics?     THIS IS GOING TO SOUND SO CHEESY but i love how /real/ they allow themselves to be around each other. misukazu at their best is when one thinks "you're you. and i love that you" and the other knows this. i just. THEY VALIDATE THE OTHER SO MUCH CRIES

Least favorite aspect of them/their relationship dynamics? (Can be headcannon)     this isn't a "least fav" so much as "it makes me sad" but if either of them showed any sign of not being interested anymore the other is more likely to give up then push anything. sort of like "it was bound to happen, so i'll enjoy now until they drop me" or EVEN WORSE they think the other would be better off without them and pushes them away. so yeah the fact i can see one of these happening makes me sad.

If they aren’t a canon pairing, how would you get them together?     they give off "everyone knows we're dating but us" energy but at the same time i feel like they'd acknowledge there's something and just not define it bc a) they don't need to (misumi) or b) they're too nervous to (kazu). in other words i think one day they are holding hands and misumi says "kazu? is this dating?" and kazu holds his breath before asking "do you want it to be?"

If you had to take them and plunk them into another fandom, what fandom would that be? Why?     i think theyd be hilarious in any sports animanga (kazu is manager tho bc noodle arms but maybe they bond when misumi walks him through some of his usual training menu one night - ahem. anyway) BUT ALSO horimiya au...

How hard is it write/draw your pairing? Scale of 1-10.     AJDHAJDHSF I REALLY LOVE THEM SO IT COMES PRETTY EASILY... but sometimes you try to put them in tropes and realize they would Just Not Work Like That. idk where i'm going with this. but yeah. anyway 3 for sankaku.

Is there a pairing that you think rivals them?     in terms of what i ship, i tend to ship kazu and misumi individually with a lot of dif charas AJDHAKD. but in terms of like... in-universe "rival" pairings: kazu side: tsuzukazu (maybe, lbr it would take them 273924 yrs to actually get together), kazu x someone from winter (i... have my reasons but they'd take longer than what this answer entails) misumi side: ... surprisingly none that i can think of ahdjahd

Which character of the pairing do you like more? (Would you ever pair yourself with them?) ��   you know that tweet that's like "sometimes a ship is just your two favs"? yeah that's misukazu for me. but if i had to choose... misumi AJDHAJHDSF I HONESTLY WASNT THAT INTO YUME UNTIL THESE TWO CAME AROUND (NOT COUNTING 707)... but yeah if they wanted to hold me in their arms i wouldn't oppose

Which character of your pairing would be the one to break up with the other? Why?     OOOOOH BOY well. i think it could be either of them. i don't think they'd break up for lack of love but too much love and wanting the other to be happy and thinking that the only way to give them that is to let them go. so i guess the question is which of them would be more likely to be selfish and hold on. thinking this way, i think misumi would be more likely to break-up, bc kazu has lots of friends who are better than him!! and misumi is more ready to leave if he thinks he needs to than kazu is. now im sad.

Are they relatable as characters or as a pairing?     THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN CALLED KAZU KIN... in all seriousness kazu's struggles with speaking out and (shinobi spoilers) his uncertainty over his future hit real close to home... while i don't relate as much as misumi, his struggles always manage to tear my heart into pieces... ((oversharing alert) i guess what really separates me from misumi is his struggle with his desire to connect with family who has treated him poorly... whereas im more "lol fuck you") tldr i relate to kazu slightly more LOL

Did you once/ever dislike one/both of them?     i never disliked them but i was NOT expecting either of them to shoot up so quickly into my favs list ahdjahdjf. also i started shipping them Immediately After reading summer main story so there's that

On an estimate, how many posts have you made about them?    as of september 28th 2020 i make up 11/78 fics on ao3 in the romantic misukazu tag and 2/12 in the platonic one. i may have brainrot.

What made you decide to ship them?     TBH I FINISHED THE MAIN STORY AND WENT "OH MY GOD... THAT'S MY SHIP" but now that i'm here i continue to ship them because they have the potential to bring out both the best and the worst in each other and i'm all about that

Favorite genre for them? (Angst, fluff, etc.)     angst. i just. angst hurt/comfort all the way. im so sorry babies.

lol you thought there would just be 21 ANYWAY EXTRA 1: how do they spend breaks/vacation?    they'd travel a lot when they're older!! kazunari loves to travel and misumi would follow kazunari anywhere (also, new triangles!!) so they go somewhere new whenever they have the time. however i think eventually one or both of their future careers will take them anywhere and everywhere anyway, so their "ideal vacation" might turn into an evening in, cuddling and catching up (as if they didn't already send play-by-play updates over the phone of whatever they did during the day)

EXTRA 2: first date?     i don't they ever have an explicit first date, but if asked they'll cite the time they had a picnic in the park turned triangle hunt turned accidental dip in the duck pond. at least, kazunari will. misumi just tilts his head and wonders what you mean.

EXTRA 3: gifts?     IM FEELING REALLY CHEESY SO I'M MAKING THIS ABOUT ANNIVERSARY GIFTS they both end up getting each other jewelry (although kazu was really really nervous bc he wasn't sure if misumi would wear it). kazu gets misumi a bracelet (with triangles, of course although misumi only wears it sometimes because he doesn't want to lose it) and misumi gets kazu a pair of triangle earrings "so we can match!" and kazunari combusts at the implications

EXTRA 4: sharing clothes     THEY'RE ACTUALLY AROUND THE SAME SIZE (and tend to wear baggier stuff barring kazu's skinny jeans)... but they have completely different Styles so it's still really obvious when steal each other's stuff ahdjajdkaf. as cute as kazu would look in sumi's sweatshirt i think the much more likely scenario is kazu wrapping misumi in his jackets because this boy nEVER BRINGS HIS ANYWHERE anyway just. accidental shared wardrobe misukazu.

EXTRA 5: lake house au    consider: kazunari living in a house on the shore of a lake for a summer for Art Purposes (and a little bit for Dealing With Life purposes but he's not gonna admit that) and meets his lake neighbor misumi who kazu thinks might be a ghost or spirit for a while but he actually just lives further down the lake and misumi unknowingly helps kazu with his Life Issues and maybe they fall in love

[princessozera]

people are harassing the devs over 100 dv situation 😔

I've heard, and that's both disappointing and more than a bit ridiculous.

@belphies-pillow and @diavolosthots put things better than I ever could

Diavolosthots post

Belphies-pillow's post

The long and short of it is that, ultimately Obey Me is just a game, and Solmare is a company; companies need to focus on making an income/profit.

It's fine to be upset about the 100 vouchers, I said so myself that I'm sad older players couldn't get them too, but going out of your way to harass the devs and even the VAs is uncalled for. They're actual people and the VAs don't even have a say in those kinds of choices so ??? What was your point???????

I've played my fair share of otome games and I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt this is the most content I've ever gotten for free and it's not that hard to grind and save for events if you pick and choose which ones you actually want. The only other game that I could get this much content for was Dangerous Fellows and it took a lot longer to grind for those materials and if you don't grind

*SPOILER ALERT!*

YOU GET EVERYONE KILLED! YAY!

It's actually the most common route, especially for brand new players who don't want to wait upwards of a month to unlock enough diamonds for even 1 happy route ending.

All of the other otome games I've given up were always because I got stuck and didnt want to pay money to buy items that I needed to continue any of the routes. Ffs, I've never even finished any of the Destiny Ninja routes because of the item requirements.

I'm going to stop here because I think I'm veering off the point of things. Please go check out Diavolosthot's and Belphies-pillow's post that I linked above.

Y'all.

PLEASEEE do not harass any of the devs or voice actors.

If it really bugs you that much, I'm sorry to say this but just drop the game. Hell, I almost did because of the Mammon-witch thing.

[aggressivelyclueless]

ok so!

now that im uhhhh Semiofficially caught up on sleep im gonna go through that whole Process of dragging everything i slapped up on gdocs into an actual workable folder for, yknow, maybe working on it. lot of solid first-drafts this time around, ngl (also it has not escaped my attention that i havent brushed off a Damn Thing from the phight last year either whoops lmao) but what it boils down to is:

i gotta get Most-To-All Of That Nonsense looking somewhat presentable before it goes up on ao3. yes, i would like All of it to get the whole brush-off-and-polish; yes, i think some of the smaller oneshots/drabbles would either be expanded upon or clustered together for posting; yes, im realizing how long this is gonna take me and im only dying inside a little bit thinking about it

but! on that note! to put it plainly: idfk where i wanna start. there’s just. So Much. i have a shortlist (spoiler alert it’s not too short of a list) that goes, in no order whatsoever:

-dead and buried (1986)

-swap

-superior gothic*

-wes’ wonderful life of doom

-lost

-renegade

-my haunt is a monster boy*

-runaway

so. if u guys have a favorite u wanna see first? or smth else u wanna see a second draft finished version of? hmu. seriously i wanna hear from u ppl

*those ones are from last year. and if u suggest any that i did the first year imma be real impressed abt that bc i cant remember fuckall of the ones i didnt put on ao3. just sayin.

[bubbl3sworld]

Bowers gang and taking out your hair (black! reader)

Literally no one asked for this, but I shall deliver anyways. They helping take your hair

Patrick

Reference photo

Okay so, you had these box braids in for a good three months. 

Naturally, they started to look fuzzy and when Patrick jokingly pulled your hair a braid fell out

You literally stared at the braid at in his hand and he started laughing

“Look Y/n, Your weave fell out!” You smacked him 

Anyways, You were nervous about him cutting your hair out because one of two reasons

One, You didn’t know how long your hair grown

Two, He was way too excited to hold scissors near your braids

You were about to change your mind but the extra help was needed so

Yall got to work

You told him where to cut but he didn’t listen (you’re convinced he cut your hair)

He left a scar on your neck because his trigger happy he was getting, he did apologize tho

Now that the easy part was over, now for the hard part

Patrick tapped out the first five minutes while he was still on the first braid, by the time you had at least taken out two

“My fingers hurt” “Okay and? Keep going until they cramp up”

Overall he helped you take out 1/4 of your hair before calling it quits

Y’all started at 3? You finished around eight pm thanks to him distracting you.

Overall help: 2.5/5 because of the scar

Belch

Reference photo

You had weave in, and it was time to cut it out

Belch literally has no idea what and how the hell your hair works (spoiler alert, none of the boys do)

So when you handed him the scissor and told him to cut the sew in out you REALLY had faith in this man

That is exactly why he was afraid to cut out your closure (pussy)

You ended up cutting it out and he did take out the rest from there

He snipped off a bit of your hair but not as much as Patrick

Now that the hard part was over, y’all were left with the braids under, and the bunch of extra hair that you needed to wash later

“Jesus, do I have to cut this too?” His dumbass asked staring at your hair braided down as he cut of the string to release the end of your braids

“No jackass, put down the scissors and unbraid the rest with ya hands”

He thought his hands were sweating the whole time but really it was just product

He got you halfway through, you let him break since how far he got you

He was ACTUALLY nice to sweep the floor n shit for you while you were finishing

You caught him before he threw away the weave and explained to him you were going to wash it

It didn’t make sense to him, but since he knew not much about it he just sat it on your bed

You both started around 3:30? Y’all got done at 4

Overall help: 4.5/5 because he still cut your hair

Vic

Reference photo

You didn’t have much, just a bunch of side braids right. The very small ones

Vic already takes good care of his hair as is, this boy is a bleach blonde

He wasn’t opposed to taking out your hair, he just didn’t want to spend his time doing it

But he’s a sucker for you so of course he did it!

You handed him a pair a scissors and showed him where to cut before you began snipping

Him taking out like 15+ braids wouldn’t be a problem right?

Correct! It wasn’t

He actually fucking DIDNT cut your hair

He was done cutting out all your braids before you were done cutting out your half (and he ended up cutting those because he wanted to cut more)

So it comes down to the unbraiding, and his fingers cramped up so many times. He was amazed seeing you work so fast taking out your half quickly

“How are you moving so fast?” “16+ years of experience babes”

He literally only had, the piece near your ear taken out 💀

A couple minutes later he did get the hang of it, cracking his knuckles every few braids

Y’all kept breaking to clean up all the hair on the floor because he kept complaining

He did NOT know you had at least two grocery bags of hair in your head

Y’all started at 3:30? Finished around 5:30

Overall help: 5/5, you go boo

Henry.

Reference photo

Girl- I - you sure you want to ask him? Like are you sure?

You only got like, eight straight back braids. Come on girl

Okay, so you ask him to help. He looked at you like you were crazy

“The hell did you just ask me?” He looked at your hair too, disgusted face and all

A week prior he noticed that your hair was getting old but said nothing

“Help me take out my hair, asshole” He literally went back to reading his magazine when you asked again

After fifteen minutes of forceful convincing, he got his mullet wearing ass up

You gave him the run down on where to cut, and right when you went to get the scissors he just pulled out his knife and started stabbing at the braid

Horrible idea really, he nearly pierced you a couple times

Y’all cut out the big braids, Henry was about to lay back down until you dragged him back UP to take out your hair (again, sis. These are eight braids, you SURE you want him to help?)

Taking out the big braids were relaxing to him because how easily they came out

When it came for the minture braids between the big braids that’s when he became irritated.

He couldn’t get his finger to take it out, and out of frustration he snipped your hair because of a knot

Needless to say he got cussed out (told you you should’ve taken them out by yourself)

He did ended up taking out the rest of the big braids and you taking out the small ones

He started shouting at you for all the hair on his bed and you told him to go fuck himself

He ended up cleaning up the hair and his floor, seeing how you were mad at him for cutting your hair ON PURPOSE

Y’all started at 3? Ended around 3:30

Overall help: 1.5/5 for obvious reasons